What to do, What to do?????

When getting thrown curve balls you hit them the best you can. I believe that's the way life is. Life is never straight on target, you get curves and then you learn to roll with them. It's your choice if you roll with the curves with ease or resistance. I do a bit of both. There are some things that I feel so strongly about, that I will not compromise my morals. And then there is just the opposite. Sometimes a little of this and a little of that is not so bad. ALL IN MODERATION!!!

I do wish I had more drive to make some changes in my life. I was a triathlete from 2000 till 2004, with only 11% body fat. Yeah, I was looking good (if I may say so myself). But then I needed to slow down but I wouldn't, not even after 4 left knee surgeries. And running a half marathon with meningitis. After that I got really sick, and had to quit everything. And I got fat and somewhat lazy, as far as exercising goes. But at that time I wasn't healthy I was fit. There is a big difference between the two. Basically my body shut down, and I lost what my identity was back then. I was a triathlete, mom, wife, and then Christian. So me "having" to slow my life down was a blessing....in disguise.

I have always been one to have a "title". I was a kid, High School Graduate, College Graduate, Christian, wife, mother, I adopted a child, boxer, triathlete, hot mom (MILF), sales representative (and at one job ranked 2nd Nationally), survivor, and now for the past 7 years I'm still trying to find out "who I am" now. I know so much about life and people, but what do I do with all of this knowledge and I yearn for the wisdom to know.

I read a lot!!!! I would like to write more, but I don't. I would love to start regularly exercise but I'm scared I will get sick again. I started drawing in a sketch book and I like that. Even though I draw like a 3rd grader. I love volunteering some of my time to my church and other passions. I love helping people in need. URGH!!!! I have no idea what I'm going to do when I grow up!

So I have come up with some conclusions, do you want to hear them? Or read them? Life is so short, I know people say that all the time, but when a family has experienced a death of a child like ours, you really get and understand and respect that phrase. I want to be happy and most of all I want to make God happy. I have a strong desire to do what God wants me to do, but I don't know what that is yet. So for now I'm going to enjoy my life, close my mouth, open my ears, and wait for my Savior to direct me.....THEN JUMP ON IT!!!! I hope you do the same.