Out of my four children three of them have blond hair and blue eyes. Only Sarah-Kate has brown hair and brown eyes like myself. If I remember correctly back in school, brown characteristics where the dominant genes. If that is true, then what the heck happened to my family? Mike has blue eyes and when he was a kid he had blond hair, but it turned brown (and now gray). I take this whole "gene" thing as a sign that I am NOT a dominant "gene" in this house.
I don't mean, "Boo Hoo, my family doesn't need me". Because trust me they do. When I worked full time, Mike was in charge of dinner. And it was a known fact the kids would be eating either frozen pizza, mac-n-cheese from a box, or spaghetti. We are now to the point we can't see, eat, smell, or even look at spaghetti anymore. I am just giving Mike a hard time. He really is a great Dad and in his defense he did ask me to write down some recipes for him. I just never did it.
Currently I'm not working because in the beginning of February I fell on the ice in our driveway. I fell backward and smacked the back of my head on the driveway, bad. I suffered a severe concussion, amnesia for almost 3 days, and had to go on a leave of absence at work. I ended up in speech therapy, therapy that helps with dizziness, I don't remember the month of February and most of March, numbers, days, and simple tasks are very challenging. I have what is called - Post Concussion Syndrome. I have never heard of this, but there is such a thing.
I ended up losing my job because I wasn't there a year yet and didn't qualify for FMLA. When the HR dept. called me to let me know I couldn't come back I just happened to be in speech therapy. I was devastated and started crying hysterically. My speech therapist is the one who told me about this, that is the only reason I know. I loved my job, I planned on retiring from Freightquote.com. I didn't need to look for another job, I was set. It is a great company to work for. I honestly loved everything about it, everything. But they couldn't hold my position so what could I do? Nothing.
I still have memory loss, it's very scary. My family and friends will tell me I did or say something but I won't remember any of it. The kids at first were getting a bit irritated with me because they would tell me their plans or something, and then 5 minutes later they would have to tell me again. They quickly found how it was beneficial for them too. If they got in trouble earlier in the day I would forget, so no punishment for them. They used that to their advantage often. I felt bad that everyone was getting frustrated with me, but honestly I had no idea why they were getting frustrated. I lost my short term memory, if they told me I would forget seconds later.
In my daily prayers I ask God to heal me. It is a fear of mine that I will stay like this. I have my degree in Communication, and now it is hard to finish a complete sentence. I am not as quick witted as I used to be. I have lost confidence in myself. I don't let anyone know this because this has gone on so long that I don't think anyone wants to hear about it anymore. That is OK, I don't want to live with it anymore. I do have peace in God, and I have to do my part and God will handle ALL of it.
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