Tough Love Club

I think all mothers can relate when I say we give all of ourselves to our children...without any hesitation. I honestly don't think children are wired to always be thinking of how great their parents are. I know for a fact they aren't, and that's ok. It's fine when a child is a bit selfish, it's the only time in our lives we can get away with it. But it is when that selfishness follows them into adulthood.....that is when parents need to go into action and produce boundaries for themselves. AKA ~ Tough Love.

Some people call it "Tough Love", but who is it really tough on? So, let's say you kick your somewhat adult child out of the house. What now? They're gone! Who are the ones going to be upset? The child or you? I'm going to put my money on the parents. How do I know this? I have lived it first hand. I had an older sister who needed "Tough Love" and now I have a child in the same position.

People commonly say, "That is why they call it Tough Love", REALLY!!!!! Is that why? I mean what is that? How is that going to help me feel better? Do they think they are giving you advise or something? "I had no idea WWWWHHHYYYHY they called it Tough Love. Just thought it was a new club or kind of drink". With all sarcasm aside, when I step back and think about what they just said, it is almost like a code between parents. They are letting you know that they have been there and feel your pain.

When parents are dealing with their child who was/is a "big mess" it is hard to look beyond your own problems. But when other parents say that catchy phrase of, "that is why they call it Tough Love", usually they give you a look, almost like they are giving you permission to ask them for advise. Almost like a look of acceptance into their pain and troubles. I have to thank these selected few parents who let us into their lives and helped/are helping us get through our own "big mess".

Now we have something in common with these incredible people, and we are thankful to be part of the Tough Love Club. Everyone in this club is so very raw and real. There are hardly any secrets, and a ton of support. We do not know most of them but we know they are out there, so we pray for them. Ask me about our families "Tough Love" and will let you know how we handle it.

And when you are in the trenches with your child, and you really think that you have reached your limit....just know that other parents whom may have limits far beyond yours. I hope through all of this I gained character and knowledge. And have been able to turn that knowledge into wisdom.

I love my husband and my children so dearly. I am so glad that the Lord has let Mike and I borrow Nate, Sarah-Kate, Allie, & Joe while we are here on earth.